As interactive as I’d like this site to become, I’ve been thinking about why in the hell I might be qualified to engage in a discussion about sex and relationships, especially since I’ve rarely done relationships, and also because I’m not straight. Well, I’d like to think that as a gay man, that fact helps my eligibility. I can’t tell you how many straight female friends of mine call me up and lament the fact that some loser dumped them, or they can’t get a date, or how some guy they really like expects regular blowjobs without returning the favor and giving their pussies some first class oral attention. I’ve had some straight male friends question their sexuality because they liked shoving things up their asses, and because they enjoyed it, must mean that they’ve got some big inner fag that threatens their manhood and masculinity. I’ve heard a lot, my friends and being that guy certainly helps.
As a little baby gay in high school, when everyone else was making out and going to third base and exploring their nether regions, I was clammed up, afraid of being outed, lonely and spent a lot of time beating off to the International Male catalog. And I think because of that, the fact that gays have to go forth and study, research, look up, investigate, and make sense of what it is to be gay (no one was really talking about it) then that helps as well. I was certainly preoccupied with sex for the fact that I wasn’t HAVING ANY.
I think this is probably the case when all your feelings, desires, wants and sexual needs are told they are against God, against your will, wrong, your palms will grow hairy, all these stupid and inane things are thrust at you, it forces you to give some deep thought and consideration to bumping uglies. Straight people give into nature and do what comes…well, naturally. Gays have to, uh…discuss it? Is butt-fucking the obvious sexual choice? Jerking off together? Blowjobs? There needs to be some discussion when it comes to sex. The gays do it, and it would do straight people the same good to have that line of open communication.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, being a black dude certainly helped. You see, Straight People, and/or White People, as a minority AND a sexual minority, we have to learn how to be covert, how to hide and work in secret. How many closeted gay men sneak out to glory holes and out into the bushes for a little happy time? Just like coping and dealing with the fact that sometimes I’m gonna be the only brother up in the room, I might be the only queer as well. People of color, we learn how to blend in and out of the majority culture. We have to. Gays have learned the same kind of stealth (but get over that shit and come out already).
For the record, I’m not an expert. I might not have a master’s degree in psychology, or proof of medical knowledge with regards to bumps, rashes, sores, crooked dicks, one titty being bigger than the other, or why it burns when you pee, but I’ve always been a people person, and that’s got to count for something.
So bring it on! Let’s talk, let’s discuss. Anyone have anything in particular they want to talk about, ask about, are curious about? Thanks again for reading and hope you’re enjoying the site.
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